I'm in a mess 'cos my broadband's stuck in sinking sand
I got it half price 'cos they tell me it's second hand
Bought it from a fake tanned man from Birmingham
A gang land, big bang, tin can, superman

Ring tones, free fones, safe homes, crumple zones
Let's go, broken bones, who's to know - sleeps alone?

It's buy one get one free you see
With no guarantee
It's buy one free - you can fall for the price
No life guarantee
I don't need you and me now...

Delivered in a week straight from the factory
Extended memory, full service history
The best you've ever seen
Grown from last years seed
With the rarely seen, final scene
Got it from the winning team

Out of reach, on the beach
Can you practice what you preach?
Tell 'em what you mean, keep 'em keen
That'll teach you something...

I'm out of reach, on the beach
Can you practice what you preach?
Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen
That'll teach you something...

It's in the can, big man with the best laid plans
New improved, in demand, this stuff is factory canned
Peter Pan took Japan over land, underhand
In the back, front, this is the night
That I teach you something

So give it all up when they raise the stakes
Lock the gates, on the make, give and take on a plate
Love the chase - hate the pace
Off the case, back to base
Face to face, first place, lead the race to outer space

Look back, head back, mind the gap, heart attack
Get the knack, lead the pack
Beat the trap for the craic

Took flak, head back, mind the gap, heart attack
Got the knack, lead the pack, beat the trap
Only do it for the crack...

For the crack


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Written, performed, produced and mixed by Jason Allen.
Copyright © 2005 Jason Allen. All rights reserved.